Just in case you don't know, here in New Brunswick, we write our end-of-semester exams after Christmas instead of before, like the rest of the entire planet does. And, as most teens do, I am stressing over it... along with everything else in life.
You know, its funny, really, how everything else that always seems to make sense just doesn't when you've got something else on your mind. Then again, maybe its just me, but during exams common sense stuff just doesn't seem to apply to me or to anyone else I know. Things like wasting time on the computer instead of studying seem to occur a lot more often than they should. (Hmm, gah! I suppose I'm doing that right know...) Wait, what was I going to say...? See! There I go again! Can't hold a single thought in my head for more than a minute for the life of me. But, yeah. As you can tell, I'm stressed!
The truth is, I've studied so much over the past three weeks, that I don't even know what I have left to cover, and, unlike a test, there is no exact limit that you can go to say that you know absolutely everything about a subject, there's just not! I mean, you're trying to study a whole five months worth of work in just a couple of nights! There's just no way that you can know it all! Not even for a smart kid, and I'm one of them. {heh heh...} So, I think the most healthiest thing for me to do is to just stop. Stop whatever unit it is I'm reviewing and breath, because in order to obtain sanity, that's just what I have to do.
It took me a while (up until yesterday) to come to that conclusion, but now I can say it with confidence. "I'm not failing, so I don't care!" {more like I'm far from failing, so this shouldn't even be an issue.} But, I've said it none the less.
The only really conflicting thing that happens when doing this is that I tend to feel guilty about it, real guilty! So guilty that I can't enjoy myself, even when I'm doing something I love, and thus find myself worming my way back to the textbooks for another bought of studying. (so unfair!) I guess that's kind of a tragic flaw for me. I'm really a nice guy, but my brain always seems to want to shower me in false guilt. None of this is was ever my fault. I just wish I could see that.
I sure make it hard on myself though, don't I? Normally, I'm the most preppy guy in my class, however, exams seem to transform me...
Exams are like drugs, aren't they? Now, I know that's a semi-stupid inquiry, especially coming from my mouth, but when you really stop to think about it, the results from an overdose of a Mathematics exam are similar in comparison with those viewed in patients in rehab for Methamphetamine... har har!
"I'll call it examocede! It's sure to be big with the nerds on the street! ($_$)" Just Kidding!
But seriously, who would buy it anyway? Not me!!! That's for sure... {I'm already suffering enough from Exam-Solicititis to do me until June.} Ah, June... when I have to write exams, yet again!
I think that the only thing that kept me from going clinically insane this past few weeks was my ability to socialize with students who were going through the same thing. I haven't abandoned my friends or my social life through all of this, I actually have come to strengthen those routs a little, and think that it is a trend I want to continue even when the exams are through. You know, people aren't that bad? (Well, most of them anyway.)
My situation is not unique; I am a teenager, and it is exams.
The two exams I wrote were Math: Circular Geometry & Statistics and Healthy Living & Nutrition (yeah, that's a course.) It took an extra hour to complete my morning exam than almost everybody else in my class, and I had to rush right to the culinary classroom to write my nutrition exam as soon as I was finished. I didn't even have time to eat lunch with everyone else!
When I first got into the Culinary Lab I was like, "Um, so yeah... I didn't have my lunch yet?" and my teacher was like,
"Yeah? Well neither did I," she was stuffing her face full of strawberries and running to help another student as she was saying this. I noticed this mockingly through my hunger pangs.
"Well, can I-?"
"Go quick!" She allotted me enough time to go to my locker and get me my lunch. I ate it while writing my exam.
Eating pulled pork on a bun while everyone else is busy working is a real test of your self esteem.
After school, I spoke to a grade twelve student who had done the same thing. Not eating pulled pork on a bun, mind you, but working for eight hours straight and not having enough time to eat lunch, only she had been working so hard that she had totally forgotten about it. Her reaction was like, "Lunch? OMG! That's why I'm so hungry! I forgot to eat lunch!" I guess I'm not the only person whose beginning to lose it then, hmm? She leaped up off the bench almost immediately after saying this and came back a minute or two later with a bottle of 'Powerade' in one hand and a bag of salted pretzels in the other. "Not the healthiest lunch," she said, "but it'll have to do." We laughed.
Oddly enough, through all this pain and suffering, I've gained a sense of unity with the world.
If anything, I've learned what it's like to live life as a normal teenager, not one who is used to obeying rules and doing things in a mannerly or poised way, which is how I naturally am. It's not bad to every now and again to get a healthy reminder of what its like to be a child who doesn't give a hoot! You know, not that I'd want to be that way every day of my life, but it doesn't hurt to test the waters. (Although, this time I think I did a nose-dive!)
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This post is crammed with images made specifically with this post in mind. I suspect that this is a trend I will continue in the future! I hope that it is received well by the web. I'll just have to wait and see... (Makes for good practice, though!)
Enjoy!
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