Life can always use a little more 'Passion'

I'm sick of this.  I am just so angry with myself for being so passive!

I don't have enough drive!  Where is my purpose?  I have lost touch with it, and in doing that, lost sight of myself and the world-entire.  Let's try this again... WHAT IS MY PURPOSE?! ~I need to remember who I am in order for this to work~ Why am I here? 

This photo is of me and my ticket to see CBC's
The Q: Live at the ECMAs (East Coast Music Awards.) 
I was there with my school's Media Studies class and I felt
that everyone who appeared on stage to play music and to
do their interviews were just so passionate about their lives
and careers that it really gave me a confirmation that what
I am doing here on the internet, is a good thing, and that it
is a good way for me to debut my career as an artist and
media personnel. There are some days when I am unsure
of my-self, but after listening to Jian Ghomeshi talk about
how he got into the business of being a host of a radio
show and about his childhood and life before his career,
I began to feel a confidence rising within me, and I knew
that this is where I want to be when I grow up; this is where
 I would like to see myself in a couple of years time.
*You can listen to a recording of the live broadcast and
performances clicking the link above.  

This is me making my way out.  Out of this rut I'm in... and in order to do it, I need to stick what drives and propels me to do better.  I must know what makes me want to succeed.  PASSION, Love, friendship, that's where it's at.  The ultimate goal of this "I going to step out into the internet and stuff" (and eventually out into the real world) was for me to better myself, but now I see that it has become so much more... it's not just about bettering myself, it's about bestowing passion within me, and it is passion that keeps me alive!  I went- what, like a couple of weeks without blogging, and I'm already starting to feel the pain of last year's "being trapped within myself" starting to return.  I've grown quiet; already things have started falling apart. 

I can't live like this.  I can't return to being who I was before~

I don't care if I am blogging or doing this internet thing for the rest of my life!  I will do it as long as I need to, or at least until I've got myself lifted off the ground.  Birds can't choose to stop flapping their wings and glide until they've actually gone a certain distance above the ground, otherwise they crash and burn.  The same goes for me.  And, now I'm thinking that I'm going to have to flap a lot harder to get me in the skies, so that is why I'm setting my compass so that it points towards YouTube.  I've already got my parents on board- or, well- sort'a.  (I still have yet to make my appeal to them, but at least the thought of me having my own YouTube channel to 'promote me and my art', which is what I've told them, is beginning to sit well with my parents.  They, and especially my mother, has learned to not be so taken back from it as they have seen the change in attitude my blog has given me this year.)

This song just keeps playing through my head as I am making this post.  I guess that it just resonates with how I am feeling right now.  The parts where it says "Planning my escape" and "Were making our own way out" along with the fact that other kids don't seem to have to feel as much passion in what their doing and choose to stick with what is considered a normal way of life by listening to what's only popular, really ring true to me:

"Give It All Back -Noah and the Whale"

I can only hope for the better- no, I HAVE TO GIVE IT MY ALL- with this blog, my passion for art, my future career, because my life depends on this!  I have so much potential to do good and to better the world, it would be a sin for me not to let it out.  It helps to be conceit.

Table of Contense: Atomic Bomb of Hiroshima

Whew!  I'm done!  That's right, I just got finished doing a-not-so-big-gone-really-big project for my Fine Arts 110 online course for school, and man!  Am I ever glad to have that behind me...  Well, not yet exactly; I still have a couple of things I want to do with it here on my blog before I call it quits.  To tell you the truth, I was very moved by it.  I found that the content surrounding the fatal dropping of the two bombs in Japan was so disturbing, I just felt that it deserved more than just a glance.  (I still, however, found myself going in a little too deep.  I think that I even lost some sleep over this, but in order to make sense of what I was reading and learning about I just had to deal with it.)  Oh, the sacrifices I make for you guys~!!

 

Anyhow, like I said, I am going to post this here and I am not all that sure how I'm going to go about it.  This introductory post is bound to be edited several times before the whole thing's said and done, but here's the names of the sections it contains:

1. Atomic Bomb: The invention that wished it wasn't made!
2. The Setup (a look at both sides of the war)
3. The Dropping of the Bomb
4. The Great Inferno (a look at what happened inside of Hiroshima in the hours the fallowed the massive explosion through eyes of those who saw it firsthand. Plus, a look at art created by a-bomb survivors.)  
5. Effect it had on the world in the years after WWII 
6. Effect doing this project had on me
7. Further Reading

*Some of these are likely to be grouped together within a single post.  I will let you know more about what I'm doing with this in the days that follow.

 

 Series:

"The Atomic Bomb of Hiroshima"

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I have so much computer work from school that I know would work great with my blog, it just requires the commitment and interest needed for me to get it out there.  I want to... just not enough, apparently.

Expect me to do more of this kind of work in the summer, that's when things will really start taking flight with my blog.  I have few doubts.

"Atomic Bomb Embedded in Facebook?!" Oh, my!

Recently, I've been working on a presentation for my Fine Arts 113 online course, and it just crossed my mind today that I should maybe think about posting the presentation here.  

There were a wide range of topics to choose from in our introduction to World War II assignment but the outline seemed to be calling for events and people who made the war more towards the side of dramatic (and let's face it, what can be more dramatizing than an Atomic Bomb?!)  So, I decided to run with concept of basing it around this.  

I decided to narrow my topic down from just atomic bombs in general, to the one that fell on Japan and then to "Fat Man" (the one that fell on Hiroshima) in specific.  However, as I was searching around dictionary.com for definitions of atomic bomb this is what came up:  

I feel sorry for Mr. Bomb... Atom's parents must have a really poor sense of humour.

-So does Google for generating absurd adds such as this one.  Don't worry though, I'm sure that Adam's (Oops!) I mean Atom's parents got a good dose of karma the first time they tried to go on a family vacation to Cuba.  "Your name, sur?" Lol...  But wait, there's more! 

This is just too hilarious; I checked the link to the site, and it turned out to be some kind of skincare product. 

-"Let's go rub our skin with leftover radioactive waste from the Fukushima Daiichi nuclear reactor in Japan in hopes of bettering our epidermal appeal!"  "Mmkay..." 

Yeah, I don't know about these ads, but I sure hope that my presentation will be worthwhile.  We'll just have to wait and see on that one.  

True Blogging Potential Awakening: lonely totem pole's views skyrocket!

I'm starting to get into photography, taking pictures about once a week.  I always loved viewing photographs and taking pictures myself, but I never really did it as a disciplined form of artwork up until now.

I've noticed too, that a gentle mix of drawings and picture really draws in a crowd.  People seem to be more interested in the person behind the drawings than their drawings themselves at times, so it's good to give the people what they want.  

I guess the reason that the reason for me not touching my camera until now is because I didn't feel comfortable with it.  It's probably strange to hear a teenager say this but... I don't like Facebook.   There!  I said it!  Maybe I do see it having some implications in the future, but for the time being, its best for me to stay away.  If I want to become an artist who goes showing his face around the internet and elsewhere, I have to be careful of who people see me associating with.  Some of us judge others based on their friends, do we not?  So if one of my 'friends' (or just someone you've met only once in real life but have added to Facebook) goes posting a picture of themselves drunk at a party, then professionally, what will people think of you?  Not too many high school students think of that when signing on.  Perhaps we should. 

Anyhow, the results I have gotten from including a mere two photographs in my last post really pleases me.  

It seems as though viewing photos of my culture and where I come from really perks your interest, and I have to admit that I am touched by this.  I have always thought of giving back to the community that raised me, so I guess that a cultural identification is a must for me as I progress into making a career out of this.  

"LEN-Komix, Atlantic-Canadian artist..." that sure does have a nice ring to it.  

My views for the past two weeks are the highest they've ever been!  You appear to be coming from all over too.  At times, I wondered if the bulk of my views were just my friends, but now I am assured that they aren't.  Before when it said "3 views from Canada" there was no way of telling if the person was someone I knew or not, and I was kind of hoping that they were strangers, you know, to attract new faces to my blog.  But, when all your views for one day are from outside the country, you are almost completely sure that they are part of an audience that aren't your closest friends.  This is all very good.  

I've been working very hard as of late in achieving a solid look to many of the characters and settings for my future comic project.  I might as well call it future now, because calling it current makes it kind of misleading.  Truth be told, I haven't really got anything of a finished product to show you guys yet, so it is not fair of me to get everyone hyped up for nothing.  What I do have though is what I believe to be an excellent concept of a comic with charming characters and a self-absorbing story.  I haven't come to set myself up with any real deadlines for this however, so it may be long after I graduate before you see this hitting store shelves or anything.  Yet, (and I did tell my parents this) I plan on pouring myself into the project in the next couple of months following the school's end, and I do want to get to the main body of my comic, creating chapters and such when I'm freed from having to juggle schoolwork at the same time.  I work far better when I don't have other things weighing me down.  

As always, if any of you want to view more posts
containing pictures, try making use of the labels
currently locate at the top of this page!

*I've got more "My Themed Life" content coming your way in the next couple of weeks leading up to Summer Vacation in June.  There will be loads of Pokémon and The Hunger Games-themed content being posted here, so STAY TUNED!  

Content For Next Week

One of the things that I had thought about in my massive "realization" I talked about in my second-last post was the fact that I want to venture into different medium with my internet postings, so I am now preparing myself to do just that.
Just in case you haven't already noticed the image-link I attached to my blog quite recently, I have now grainted you all access to my deviantART~!!!  It's true; I actually fallowed through with what I said I was going to do and, on a whim, began tinkering around with deviantART, and I have to say I love it!  

Check Out My T-Shirt!
(Vote For It HERE!!)

As one of my challenges I had brought upon me this week, I forced myself to work alongside the watchful ticking of the clock and produced a T-shirt for the deviantART: Cute Monster's contest.  (If you want to check it out, click here.)  I will have more info on how I came about doing the T-shirt in one of my upcoming posts this week, so stay tuned if you would like to see how I did it.

Also, on another note, I have now decided that one of the mediums I want to delve into this year is, in fact, doing reviews.  I found that I really like to talk about all of my different interest.  So, rather than have me insert random blurbs of these into my art-related post, which have nothing to do with whatever the thing I feel about mentioning is (most likely a video game or anime), I have now decided to reduce the amount of anime/nintendo-fan outbreaks by sectioning off these interests into their own individual fan-dedicated posts in the form of reviews. :)

*[Expect Art, Manga, Anime & Nintendo reviews to start flooding in sometime next week!]

Next week is spring vacation for me, so I hope to ramp-up my production of art again as I will have a lot of time at my disposal.  I will try to put my artistic abilities to good use!

That's All Folks!

We are now down to... umm, 5 days before Christmas everyone!
I just wanted to take the opportunity to wish you all a very Merry Christmas just in case I didn't get to post something again before the big day.  I hope that I will, but you can never be too sure with those kind of things.

My table's set-up:
Above is a painting that I made a while back, I think that it was sometime last winter.  Anyhow, it was one of the pieces of artwork that I took with me when I went to that Christmas event at one of the high schools in my district on December 7th, and was probably one of my works that received the most comments.

There was such a rush for me to get everything gathered together that night, even after two to three weeks of preparation, that I was literally just throwing things into a book bag, zippering it up and leaving the house, not knowing if I had remembered to pack everything I needed or not.  Luckily for me, I had.


There were some interesting remarks made about my artwork, and some rather awkward and intriguing reactions:
       Some walked around my table as though in a hurry, some approached, stood there for a bit, said nothing and then walked away as though they had seen nothing or had nothing to say, others startled me by tiptoeing there way shyly over to my table as though they were trying not to wake a sleeping giant or otherwise planing to do something illegal, and then piped up suddenly by yelling "Gee sir! These paintings are real swell!" almost knocking me out of my chair mind you.  A group of young girls came along and bickered over which frame they thought was better, which I didn't mind besides for the headache it gave me.  There were I couple of people who asked "if I knew so-and-so, even though it was highly unlikely that I would ever know so-and-so, but they thought that it would be good just to ask if I knew so-and-so, because that particular so-and-so knew another so-and-so who did art", meh... I just said "no?"  Some were actually really helpful though and gave me a good insight as to where I need to improve my art.  There was a lady there who had worked with my mother before, and knew her quite well, that recommended that I get in touch with an old neighbor of hers who moved to somewhere in Ontario and was a well known Canadian artist for his colourful and highly visual narrative paintings.  This, I liked.

I had a bit of trouble in trying to get people to take a handout with them as they went, so I had to put my sign-making skills to the test rate on the spot.  This is what I came up with.  It was a long sheet of paper that was looped and folded on the back so that it sat in a shape of a triangle; until I had made this, I had virtually no takers.  Of the ones I cut out and stapled together, only four were left.  Yet, I still managed to print too much by having seven sheets of them, both in colour and in black and white, to take home with me when I left.  Oh, darn!  I hate feeling wasteful, but I do suppose that it is better than having too little to give.

Things went by so quickly, but, IT WAS GREAT!!  The fact that it went by so fast was partially my fault, having shown up so late, yet I can't held but to seek for more satisfaction.  This surely will not be my last exhibition of my art, so I can look forward to doing something like again, by all means.  I will also have a better understanding of what to expect for next time.

If anything, this was a major confidence booster.  It helped to affirm my ability in art and self reliance to both me and my parents, and we are very grateful for all of the lovely comments we received.
Thanks to all who came~!

It's funny, actually, how the number of Russian views I get has taken a jump.  It's all because of me mentioning there being a town in Kosovo bearing the same name as one of the main settings in my comic.  Maybe I should consider adding Russian to the list of languages I want to learn to write and speak before I die?  Hmm, who knows when that may come in handy?!

Speaking about death, I just realized something!  A year and one day from now, the sun is said to explode...!  Hmm, perhaps that dampens the mood a little too much... Umm, "Marry Christmas! Hoho-haha-ahum" [coughs] ...Yeah.  

Christmas At The Lobby

Hey! Glad you could make it! (whoever you are?) ...Gosh, this is exciting, isn't it?
Just to let you know, I haven't really ever invited anyone else to come and see my blog, personally that is, besides a couple of my close friends, so this is definitely a new venture for me.  It's kind of like my first exterior viewing of my blog in a sense, and it truly is this great and wondrous feeling.
Everything feels so peachy for me now; just rate fine and dandy, you know what I mean?

It's been a busy past two weeks, but it looks like I've finally made it here!  This is my first time having my art on display, ever, so if I seem a little nervous, that's because I probably am!  I may not look it, seemingly calm and collected as I am, but I'm probably screaming inside!
     "Oh-gosh, oh-my-gosh! What am I doing here? ....And with all these people?! Why did I ever think that this would be a good idea? Why did I bother coming...?"
     Ha-ha, yeah, that sort of thing.  But, don't get me wrong!  Maybe I won't get that way, but just to worn you, I have been known to do that in the past, so be gentle, okay?!


I am apologizing to you in advance about the little amount of stuff I brought here tonight.  I could have arranged to gather some more, but with such short notice... eh, I couldn't be bothered.  "This is all you get!"
It's kind of funny, actually.  I just reminded myself there of that one famous moment in 'Oliver Twist' when the little boy is like "please sir, can I have some more?" and the older man at the cauldron is like "More? You say you want more?!"  I feel bad now. You're still enjoying this though, right?

For all of my school friends and others who have been to my site before, you may have noticed somewhat of a change in the overall structure of my blog from the last time you visited.  I decided to form a list of the more noticeable ones in this post, just so that you have a general idea about what's going on, and so that you don't get lost in all of its "newness."

List of Changes:

• Added a "Labels Display" blogger gadget to the side bar. 
• Minor changes to my profile information. 
• Swapped profile pictures. 

Here is the imaged I used as my old Profile Picture. Would you believe me if I told you That I had drawn this?  This was actually from around two years ago, back when I was in grade 9.  That was back before I even knew about copic markers or inking pens and I think that this was probably done using a simple package of fine-tipped markers from Steadler and just your regular a black ballpoint pen.  I surprised myself when I looked at the date that was marked on this one.  It said that it was from March 31st of 2010, and that's just the date the printer placed on it after it was scanned.  I don't think that I could draw an eye that looked quite as well if I tried here today.  I'm a little bit out of practice in drawing eyes with such detail in this way, and I can remember watching a lot of YouTube videos while doing studying this particular kind of art style in order to own my skills.  Long-story-short, I made this, yet, I don't know how?!

Hmm... It seem to me that there was one other little change. Now, what was that?  O-Oh, yeah...

• I RENAMED MY WEB-LOG!!!!!

For all of you newcomers and soon-to-be fans, the title of my blog (that's short for 'web-log') prior to now was just the name of my comic project I am currently piecing together, called "Knight's of Mamus'sa" (Pronounced: MAH-moos-sah.) Yes, yes, I know that's a tongue twister, but it is very original, and as far as I know, nobody anywhere is using that name.
{unless you consider that little Turkish town of 'Mamusa' in the rural parts of the Kosovo, and I don't think that the town of 5,513 people care to much.  Trust me on this, okay?  I even Wikipedia'ed it and everything!} Hahaha!

But seriously, 'Lonely Totem Pole', so much of a better name!  Plus, it's way easier to pronounce.
Pronunciation wasn't the only factor that lead me into deciding this, it also has more of a symbolic meaning to me as well.  It suits my website for its purpose more so than having my comic's title there.  Originally, I was only going to post things pertaining to 'Knights of Mamus'sa' on here, but then as time past I found that to only be a slender portion to the entire make-up of my blog.  There are so many different sections of my blog devoted to almost everything I do, so it just didn't seem as 'fitting' anymore.
(I also hear that it is a good idea to have a single pictorial representation of your enterprise, from a selling point of view, because it makes your products more commercially viable...)  I'm rambling on again, aren't I?

On another note...  

This little strip of paper is probably what most of you are holding in your hands rate now.  (and if you  don't have one then grab one now!) It's your personal invitation to my blog!  The address and everything is rate on there, so as long as you have a working computer, connection to the internet, and hands, then getting onto my blog should be a cinch!  (no excuses people!)  



My mother was generous enough to let me use her computer in displaying my blog here tonight.  So, if you don't mind, please stay within the bounds of my 'Lonely Totem Pole' blog and its pages here tonight.
"Don't go bustin' up me mum's PC, ya hear?!"

Also, feel free to check out the rest of my pages on my blog (just don't go hogging my mother's computer!)
To get started with your journey of touring 'Lonely Totem Pole', just click on the little collection of Labels in various sizes that I posted to the right.

*If you have any questions about my artwork, blog, or other things, I shouldn't be all that far away.  Finding me in crowd of people can sometimes be a bit challenging, as my mother can tell you, but keep an eye out for the one that looks like he's trying to hide, and the one who resembles the little character I use as my profile picture at the top of this page, chances are, it's me.