Life can always use a little more 'Passion'

I'm sick of this.  I am just so angry with myself for being so passive!

I don't have enough drive!  Where is my purpose?  I have lost touch with it, and in doing that, lost sight of myself and the world-entire.  Let's try this again... WHAT IS MY PURPOSE?! ~I need to remember who I am in order for this to work~ Why am I here? 

This photo is of me and my ticket to see CBC's
The Q: Live at the ECMAs (East Coast Music Awards.) 
I was there with my school's Media Studies class and I felt
that everyone who appeared on stage to play music and to
do their interviews were just so passionate about their lives
and careers that it really gave me a confirmation that what
I am doing here on the internet, is a good thing, and that it
is a good way for me to debut my career as an artist and
media personnel. There are some days when I am unsure
of my-self, but after listening to Jian Ghomeshi talk about
how he got into the business of being a host of a radio
show and about his childhood and life before his career,
I began to feel a confidence rising within me, and I knew
that this is where I want to be when I grow up; this is where
 I would like to see myself in a couple of years time.
*You can listen to a recording of the live broadcast and
performances clicking the link above.  

This is me making my way out.  Out of this rut I'm in... and in order to do it, I need to stick what drives and propels me to do better.  I must know what makes me want to succeed.  PASSION, Love, friendship, that's where it's at.  The ultimate goal of this "I going to step out into the internet and stuff" (and eventually out into the real world) was for me to better myself, but now I see that it has become so much more... it's not just about bettering myself, it's about bestowing passion within me, and it is passion that keeps me alive!  I went- what, like a couple of weeks without blogging, and I'm already starting to feel the pain of last year's "being trapped within myself" starting to return.  I've grown quiet; already things have started falling apart. 

I can't live like this.  I can't return to being who I was before~

I don't care if I am blogging or doing this internet thing for the rest of my life!  I will do it as long as I need to, or at least until I've got myself lifted off the ground.  Birds can't choose to stop flapping their wings and glide until they've actually gone a certain distance above the ground, otherwise they crash and burn.  The same goes for me.  And, now I'm thinking that I'm going to have to flap a lot harder to get me in the skies, so that is why I'm setting my compass so that it points towards YouTube.  I've already got my parents on board- or, well- sort'a.  (I still have yet to make my appeal to them, but at least the thought of me having my own YouTube channel to 'promote me and my art', which is what I've told them, is beginning to sit well with my parents.  They, and especially my mother, has learned to not be so taken back from it as they have seen the change in attitude my blog has given me this year.)

This song just keeps playing through my head as I am making this post.  I guess that it just resonates with how I am feeling right now.  The parts where it says "Planning my escape" and "Were making our own way out" along with the fact that other kids don't seem to have to feel as much passion in what their doing and choose to stick with what is considered a normal way of life by listening to what's only popular, really ring true to me:

"Give It All Back -Noah and the Whale"

I can only hope for the better- no, I HAVE TO GIVE IT MY ALL- with this blog, my passion for art, my future career, because my life depends on this!  I have so much potential to do good and to better the world, it would be a sin for me not to let it out.  It helps to be conceit.