Who'm I Foolin' ?

Okay, I admit it! I am stressed! Though, for a good reason...
    Just in case you don't know, here in New Brunswick, we write our end-of-semester exams after Christmas instead of before, like the rest of the entire planet does.  And, as most teens do, I am stressing over it... along with everything else in life.

    You know, its funny, really, how everything else that always seems to make sense just doesn't when you've got something else on your mind.  Then again, maybe its just me, but during exams common sense stuff just doesn't seem to apply to me or to anyone else I know.  Things like wasting time on the computer instead of studying seem to occur a lot more often than they should.  (Hmm, gah! I suppose I'm doing that right know...) Wait, what was I going to say...?  See! There I go again!  Can't hold a single thought in my head for more than a minute for the life of me.  But, yeah. As you can tell, I'm stressed! 

    The truth is, I've studied so much over the past three weeks, that I don't even know what I have left to cover, and, unlike a test, there is no exact limit that you can go to say that you know absolutely everything about a subject, there's just not!  I mean, you're trying to study a whole five months worth of work in just a couple of nights!  There's just no way that you can know it all!  Not even for a smart kid, and I'm one of them.  {heh heh...} So, I think the most healthiest thing for me to do is to just stop.  Stop whatever unit it is I'm reviewing and breath, because in order to obtain sanity, that's just what I have to do.

    It took me a while (up until yesterday) to come to that conclusion, but now I can say it with confidence. "I'm not failing, so I don't care!" {more like I'm far from failing, so this shouldn't even be an issue.} But, I've said it none the less.
    The only really conflicting thing that happens when doing this is that I tend to feel guilty about it, real guilty!  So guilty that I can't enjoy myself, even when I'm doing something I love, and thus find myself worming my way back to the textbooks for another bought of studying. (so unfair!)  I guess that's kind of a tragic flaw for me.  I'm really a nice guy, but my brain always seems to want to shower me in false guilt.  None of this is was ever my fault.  I just wish I could see that.

    I sure make it hard on myself though, don't I?  Normally, I'm the most preppy guy in my class, however, exams seem to transform me...

    I've forgotten to shower, I've neglected to shave, I've worried and sweated so much that I've got pimples forming in the most peculiar of places (like in my ears!), my socks don't match, my shoelaces are undone, but, meh... it's normal for a teenager to respond in that way.

    Exams are like drugs, aren't they?  Now, I know that's a semi-stupid inquiry, especially coming from my mouth, but when you really stop to think about it, the results from an overdose of a Mathematics exam are similar in comparison with those viewed in patients in rehab for Methamphetamine... har har!

    "I'll call it examocede! It's sure to be big with the nerds on the street! ($_$)"  Just Kidding!
But seriously, who would buy it anyway? Not me!!!  That's for sure... {I'm already suffering enough from Exam-Solicititis to do me until June.} Ah, June... when I have to write exams, yet again!  

    I think that the only thing that kept me from going clinically insane this past few weeks was my ability to socialize with students who were going through the same thing.  I haven't abandoned my friends or my social life through all of this, I actually have come to strengthen those routs a little, and think that it is a trend I want to continue even when the exams are through.  You know, people aren't that bad?  (Well, most of them anyway.)
    My situation is not unique; I am a teenager, and it is exams.

    I spent eight hours the other day at school writing two exams, and that's without any breaks, too. "Urgh!" I was wiped completely out by the time I was finished.
    The two exams I wrote were Math: Circular Geometry & Statistics and Healthy Living & Nutrition (yeah, that's a course.)  It took an extra hour to complete my morning exam than almost everybody else in my class, and I had to rush right to the culinary classroom to write my nutrition exam as soon as I was finished.  I didn't even have time to eat lunch with everyone else!


    When I first got into the Culinary Lab I was like, "Um, so yeah... I didn't have my lunch yet?"  and my teacher was like,
    "Yeah? Well neither did I," she was stuffing her face full of strawberries and running to help another student as she was saying this.  I noticed this mockingly through my hunger pangs.
    "Well, can I-?"
    "Go quick!" She allotted me enough time to go to my locker and get me my lunch.  I ate it while writing my exam.
    Eating pulled pork on a bun while everyone else is busy working is a real test of your self esteem.

    After school, I spoke to a grade twelve student who had done the same thing.  Not eating pulled pork on a bun, mind you, but working for eight hours straight and not having enough time to eat lunch, only she had been working so hard that she had totally forgotten about it.  Her reaction was like, "Lunch? OMG!  That's why I'm so hungry! I forgot to eat lunch!" I guess I'm not the only person whose beginning to lose it then, hmm?  She leaped up off the bench almost immediately after saying this and came back a minute or two later with a bottle of 'Powerade' in one hand and a bag of salted pretzels in the other.  "Not the healthiest lunch," she said, "but it'll have to do."  We laughed.

    Oddly enough, through all this pain and suffering, I've gained a sense of unity with the world.
    If anything, I've learned what it's like to live life as a normal teenager, not one who is used to obeying rules and doing things in a mannerly or poised way, which is how I naturally am.  It's not bad to every now and again to get a healthy reminder of what its like to be a child who doesn't give a hoot!  You know, not that I'd want to be that way every day of my life, but it doesn't hurt to test the waters. (Although, this time I think I did a nose-dive!)
___
This post is crammed with images made specifically with this post in mind.  I suspect that this is a trend I will continue in the future!  I hope that it is received well by the web.  I'll just have to wait and see... (Makes for good practice, though!)  
Enjoy!

Preview: Who'm I Foolin' ?

Okay, I admit it! I am stressed! Though, for a good reason...
    Just in case you don't know, here in New Brunswick, we write our end-of-semester exams after Christmas instead of before, like the rest of the entire planet does.  And, as most teens do, I am stressing over it... along with everything else in life.

    You know, its funny, really, how everything else that always seems to make sense just doesn't when you've got something else on your mind.  Then again, maybe its just me, but during exams common sense stuff just doesn't seem to apply to me or to anyone else I know.  Things like wasting time on the computer instead of studying seem to occur a lot more often than they should.  (Hmm, gah! I suppose I'm doing that right know...) Wait, what was I going to say...?  See! There I go again!  Can't hold a single thought in my head for more than a minute for the life of me.  But, yeah. As you can tell, I'm stressed! 
_______
This is a little snippet from my next post, which, alas, has been completed! (Finally!)  I'm looking forward to seeing how things go with it, and I hope you will too.  It is scheduled to be released on this coming Wednesday (February 22nd) at exactly 9:30am.  
Exciting stuff, people! -Check it out!

A Realization

So, I was laying in bed the other night, as I usually do, and my mind drifted off to my blog and the potential it has given me to create and share on the web.  My mind goes to strange places in the brief moments before I drift off to sleep, and, I'm not sure why I thought this or how, but I had the sudden erg to do something more with my blog and with my life.
The most defining moments in my life, the ultimate epiphanies I make, often happen on impulse, like a wave of understanding that washes over my body and makes me want to leap to a conclusion.  It just happens.  I don't know when or why, but it just does; a brainwave!
As these sort of stuff come to my head, I often click my table lamp back on and begin making notes immediately on what I just saw.  But on this particular occasion, I didn't.  I just sat there, and let it all soak in.  I was floating on a sea of realization and of truth, and my body, a sponge.
"I don't blog enough," I thought.  "I don't blog enough to suit the interest of even my dog."  Now, I don't know why I thought my dog, however if I let those sort of things flow past my logical ears, my mind usually reaches some kind of fare ground of logic, so I just tend to go with it.  I only ask myself these questions later.
"My views are down... way down!  How come no body wants to listen to what I have to say?" my mind continued.  "Is it not true that I am working hard to keep a good following?  Am I really that boring?  Perhaps I try too hard to be funny or too hard to be smart."  Then I finally reached the level part.  "Why don't I just play it simple?" 
Play it simple, play it simple?!  What do you mean, brain?  Do I really seem like the simple type?  Playing it simple?  What a load of BS.  Yeah, that's right, cow patties, that's what i think of it... (But then the thought began to grow on me.)
I'm not the kind of guy that simple can ever be attached to in a sentence or elsewhere.  You would have to supper glue me to the word simple and we would still just repel.  I never do anything the simple way, and that's just the way I am.  Life's full of too many complexities for me to bother to try to live "normally."  Yet, as I say that, I do try to compromise with the differences me and the world have by, not necessarily trying to fit in, but by trying to balance my weirdness in a way that allows me to play on the same level as everyone else.  But simple?  I image that it alone would tip my already sensitively calibrated scales.  But I listen to the messages my mind gives me, and take everything into consideration before I dismiss.  ]
Okay, mind.  I'll give it a go.  Me and simple can somehow find a way to get along.  Complexity won't like it, but for the sake of my blog, I will, for now keep things simple.  There, you happy?!
I don't know what it means, I just act upon it.  Who am I to judge what my inner-being has to say.
Simple, hmm? Seems alright.  Sounds, umm... simple.  Simple to me.  Yep!  Sure sounds like fun, being simple... and plain and boring and... I don't know, regular?
...
My brain's an jerk!  You know that?
Maybe that should be my realization instead?!
Playing it simple with my blog, "Pft!"
What kind of advise is that?!
You want to know what it is I need to do in order to attract more views.  Hmn, brain?  I need to dig a little deeper, that's what!  You can't plant an oak in sand, it needs room to grow!
Why limit yourself and your life's experience to just one drop of hope when there is a whole ocean to be sailed upon and the wind is in the East?
Shove off shore, that's what I say!  Spread your routs and make room to grow!  
Punch a hole in the ceiling of your limits, so that you can stretch out your limps to their full potential!
I'm through with telling myself somethings not good enough to be shared.
If we didn't ever try to love, then who would ever love us back.

I'll start living life differently tomorrow, and I won't stud my growth with false-truths and straight-lies.  Trust your instincts, your heart and soul, and put your tattered thoughts on the back burner.  They are forgotten leaves in a teabag that has bitter'd days on the stove.  Don't drink that poison!
Dance to the rhythm of your own tune and make your own lemonade.
The lemons that life throws you may be a little quirky and sour, but who cares when you're making 10 bucks-an-hour!  I'll live life to the fullest; forgive and forget myself for the things I've done,
because what's life without a little complexity?  Hmm? 
_________
Yeah, I don't know what this post was all about. But I felt that I had to post something anyway, so I did. :)
New posts will start showing up on Wednesdays! (Or so I hope... however failure is not an option.)
It's just a little goal of mine.
deviantART soon!  Hopefully this weekend.  It's part of my stretching out.
See you then!

Preview For: Len Squared

This is me;

The me you don't normally get to see,

Here for the first time

On the 'net.

Wait, why do I rhyme?

Oh, what the heck!

       Recently, I have been faced with the challenge of trying to turn myself into a cartoon.  And, I know that sounds a little weird, even for me, but I want to add more images to my blog that can actually aid in telling the stories in which I am writing.  Because, let's face it, what's a story without a couple of nicely crafted and  pictures to help the reader along? Nothing in the eyes of the internet.  It is even more important that your pictures match your writing, because if they don't, your reader is going to have a hard time in trying to decipher it is your trying to say.  So, I've come to the conclusion that: Good, suitable images help convey your message, and they do so even better than just carefully selected ones from your PC.
       I am now striding to create images with purpose in mind for my blog.  Got it?
_________________
ERG!  I have all these post tucked away on my blogger and I just want to get them out there already!  Because this is bothering me so much, decided to run previews for some of my unfinished posts, just to satisfy myself and my craving to post things regularly.  I am currently juggling a lot of different projects with my blog, so I am working really hard on my content, its just that none of it is quite ready to be considered complete yet. I hope this does the trick.  I have hopes of releasing the actual thing soon.