Procrastination Sets-In

       So, for the past three weeks I had no part of my comic ready for me to work on. Bad Plan. Very bad plan!  I have come to realize that the only real reason that I have actually managed to survive my third year of high school was that I had something else to tie me down.  I need to have something else that I am striding to achieve, otherwise my academical goals take over, and become the only thing that I can seem to focus on.  For some people, that seems just fine! (Good grades are important! What is there to be complaining about?!)  Well, since you don't know me, you wouldn't know just how unhealthy it is for me to do that, and how much time I would spend on academic work outside of school if you'd let me.
       IT WAS HORRIBLE, absolutely terrible, how much I neglected all that was important to me.  It was to the point where that dreading feeling form middle school and earlier high school came creeping back on me.  The dreading feeling I am talking about is the feeling I get when I know that there is something that I need to do, but can't seem to come past the fact that the mere thought of it makes me sick.  You see, up until the second semester of last year, I had a homework problem.  Yes, a homework problem, and a serious one at that.  I just couldn't seem to shake it; it was bread into me through habit, and there didn't seem to be any chances for escape.  I was scared, horrified that the amount of stress involved with things at school this year would finally come to consume me, and that there would be no end to the amount of nights I would spend at home wishing for some strange phenomena or an act of god to close school for me the next day.

       In reality, I knew that would never happen.  So if I wanted something to be done about it, I knew that I would have to take things into my own hands!  I needed to be the one, independently and unquestionably in charge of my life, and so this summer I made that my main initiative: To make things better for my final two years of high school, and to kick start my life!  Yet, these past to weeks have become a slip-up.  They almost brought me to a complete halt as far as life goes, and it was to the point where it made me sick!
       Test after test was bringing me down.  I thought that because I had made it into October, that I had the whole groove of grade 11 down pat... but I guess not.  It wasn't like there was any extra work at the start of this little bout, it was only that I had nothing to work on in the evenings besides homework, and thus found myself wasting time on the computer or overexerting myself on little projects and things that really didn't need half of as much effort.  But then the real trouble came the following week, when I found myself up to my armpits in novel studies, complicated math and physics equations and a number of different projects that really got me down.  I began to feel trapped, but in the end, optimism won-out. Thank God!

       The Friday of the second week, I decided to take in my first two pages of the comic I am working on.  I thought that it would lighten my spirit, and it really did the trick!  Two of my friends, who have high-speed internet have been following my blog all the way through from the time I first started it in the beginning of September, were quite impressed with what I had shown them now that they had got to see the actual page up close, but my other friend's reaction was the best of all.  He has dial-up and so has never really understood what my comic thing is about, but when he saw my drafts and finished works, his face at that instant I opened my carrying folder was priceless!  He sat the silent with wide eyes for a couple of moments, then all he could do was sit swear to himself silently.  (Damn that's good!!!)

       [Yeah, they all thought it was pretty professional.]  

       At that moment, I began to regain my willpower.  I was so ecstatic when a couple of the girls sitting at the other corner of the room whispered across, asking if they could have a look at it after the class was done (because this was at the beginning of third-period history, but I just couldn't help myself.)  They loved my work to, and said that they were really impressed.  I don't care if my friends thought I was "picking up," I was happy.

       There was tons done that weekend to improve myself.  I found myself being quite social at the grocery store, striking up a conversation with some people that I knew from school.  (I love how people actually look to talk with me now. If it were last year, there just would have been no way.)  As if it were a sign from god, a fantastic double-rainbow appeared in the sky after a big rain storm we had that weekend.  I saw it as a sign of my achievements and my growth that week, but nothing could have prepared me for what was to come after it...

*This story shall continue in my next post.

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